On Flow State, Curiosity and Peace – An Open Journal

This is an experiment.

This is an unabridged penning down of impromptu thoughts. No edits.

This is an open journal.

For a long time now, I have been stuck on what to write. As someone who expresses through art, through words, I admit to having experienced the flow state. I have sat through hours writing a poem, a sonnet advocating how love born in the eyes in just fancy, how the lover may be so much their body cannot keep, in an alternating arrangement of unstressed and stressed syllables, strictly ten in each line mind you, a rhythm that mimics one’s heartbeat.

Lately, however, I have been far away from that. Why, you ask me? Because it is the business end of my college, and when it comes to living off a career, following your needs gives you more certainty than following your purpose. Lately, I have been interested in data, in business problems and how to solve them. Lately, I have been training my mind to be more analytical, and it feels like running in the opposite direction to that creative flow state that propels me to write.

I have tried to use analytics to understand what I should write as well. I have tried to use trends and pop culture art references in my pieces to drive their audience’s attention to my work. I am still learning to do that better because I too want to sell, but I cannot help but admit that it feels mechanical. And maybe that is the point. Maybe artistry, in all its beauty, is meant to invoke passion, love and fury. Maybe it is meant to make you feel something, a lot of things. But it’s not supposed to sell by itself. And when you try to sell it, when you try to make a living off it, the laws of business will apply.

One thing about flow state is that it happens only when you’re truly intrigued and passionate about what you’re doing. The struggle shall always be about writing on things that make you feel like that, and on things you find an audience for.

Enough on my writer’s block now.

Lately, life has been peaceful. Lately, life has been about learning new, interesting things. I have felt my curiosity return. Lately, I have experienced the power of organising, roadmaps and streamlining efforts towards a goal. Lately, life has been about the compounding momentum of making progress.

Lately, life has been less about kineticism and more about building potential, just like a bamboo tree. It has felt monotonous, and the fear of missing out has paid visits, too. I have pondered upon all the things a 23-year-old me should have been doing if I lived by the you only live once code. However, I also do realise that but for this work-from-home internship, I would not have had a chance to live with my parents for so long. And it might not happen again in the near future.

So, life me kitta bhi koshish karlo, kuch na kuch toh chhutega hi. So Jahan hain, wahi ka maza lete hain.

I have also been reading lately. Exquisite literature is love, always. And since I have allowed myself to not have any structure in this post, I will just end with a quote from the book I’m reading – The Forty Rules of Love.

How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves.

If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame,

it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us.

If we see god as full of love and compassion, so are we.

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